Incredibly Average Vernon Parsons

"You know, if we were song writers, now would be the time that we would write a song."

Ironic.  Without her knowing it, my cousin had hit the nail on the head.  Poetry and songs have always been one of life's greatest pleasures for me.  They voice the feelings that I cannot, they give expression to what I cannot fully comprehend.  There are times when I want to be a poet or to write the perfect song because, frankly, I have a lot of emotions to sort through (I'm a teenage girl, duh).  But, I am not a songwriter.  I am not a poet.  Instead, I am one of the masses who steps back and is awed.  Even the places where I feel I have some control over expression, such as music I play that others have written or prose writing, there is something that I lack.

I once told my dad that I was not the best at anything.  And he responded that he has never been the best at anything.  He just does his best.  Yeah, okay.  But I don't want to just do my best, I want to be the best (I attended high school, I can't help but think this way).

I have come into contact with many people who are good at what they do--and they know it.  There is nothing wrong with that. ...No wait, there is something wrong with that.  It's annoying.  Almost unbearably annoying.  It is possible to be good at something, to be very good at something, and still have humility.  See General Authority.

It makes me wonder if that is one of the reasons why such an incredible poet as John Keats did not do well during his lifetime.  He needed humility (and boy oh boy did he get it).  Other artists such as Vincent Van Gogh and Mozart died in poverty, despite their undeniable genius.  Wow, I feel a lot better.  I guess it's okay to not be all that great.  I could get used to this.

Yet, there are times when I cannot help but compare myself.  I know I am not the best, and frankly I never will be.  However, I do know that I do the best that I can (...most of the time).  And I also know that I will learn to be okay with that--even if I'm still working on that right now.

Incredibly Average may be all that I am, but at least I got the hospital grant and didn't have to go to Korea.  (Take that, Hawkeye.)